Well I have had this post hanging out in my drafts for ages now.
Between family get togethers, a baby that naps for five seconds, needing to soak up every minute of my hubby being around and my inability to prioritize and get things done, you can see how I don't really have time to sit and write my lengthy, detailed posts as usual. Also, I feel slightly guilty when the house is a disaster and I hang out on the couch for hours perusing the internet. But alas, it is our journal of lifes adventures and I need to somehow get back on track, just like I need to do with everything else in my life right now! Honestly you'd think I have a million kids or something with how unorganized I am right now. Ughhhhhh
No.Excuses.
Anyways, back to the reason of this post...
Life as a new Momma.
I have always heard from lots of ladies about the feelings of inadequacy that come with being a mother. Feelings of doubt, worry, confusion, being consumed with what's best for your child and how to implement it, overwhelming feelings of how to accomplish daily tasks and fulfill your role as wife and mother inertwined with concern for the well being of your baby and how to give them exacty what they need when they need it, plus all the other pressures you feel from trying to do your best and be your best. I mean, that's what I've heard from other people...I, of course, have a perfect life and have never experienced any of this...uh, NOT.
Anyway, I will say, that even though I have these feelings of inadequacy every once in a while, I have never in my life felt more accomplished then I do right now. Which to me, has been the greatest feeling in the whole world. I have always struggled with feelings of being unaccomplished. I haven't graduated from college, I don't have all these super awesome talents, I was an average student, I did track in HS but never won any races, I dont sew, I am not crafty or creative, I dont sing or play any instruments, I don't care to read, I'm a horrible writer, plus so many other things that I fall short in... BUT my baby, my beautiful angel baby, makes me feel important, I am his mom and that in and of itself out weighs any awesome crafty person or athletic, organized, college graduate, traveling, go get'em really neat "accomplished" gal, that I all too often find myself jealous of. I have never felt more confident as I do now as a Mother. Benson makes me feel on top of the world and that my little ol' mediocre self is pretty darn awesome.
So in all honesty, I feel as if I have found my calling in life. Being a mother is the greatest thing I can do and will do and I genuinely take that to heart with every fiber of my soul. I feel sooo blessed to be a Mother, despite it's sleepless nights and endless diaper changes. I will make a million mistakes a day and have my fair share of fails, but so far it has never felt better. My family is my world and I am their's and there is no better feeling than that.
This new Momma has never felt more fufilled and happy in her entire life.
A few things I didn't expect:
1. I didn't expect to feel so exhausted. I thought that right before I had him was the most tired I have ever felt and I was convinced that I would sleep better with him out rather then in, and I have now come to find that that is false. Exhaustion is my middle name.
2. I didn't expect to be so interested in baby poop. It's amazing how much worry his poop has caused!
3. I didn't expect to not be able to breastfeed, but that is how it turned out despite my giving it a valiant effort! :/
4. I didn't expect my boy to grow so fast
5. I didn't expect to take as many pictures as I have, okay not true. Let's face it, I have a real problem with the amount of pictures I take and share. I truly am a pathological picture taker and Im obsessed with my son... I need some intervention. New Year's resolution maybe??
6. I didn't expect to feel so frustrated about my post pregnancy weight gain. I don't think I will have another baby around the holidays if I can help it because that just adds to the weight problems!
7. How much time someone so little can consume. Our days just seem to fly by, almost too fast!
8. The indescribable love I feel for my Benson and the added love I feel for my amazing husband.
1. I didn't expect to feel so exhausted. I thought that right before I had him was the most tired I have ever felt and I was convinced that I would sleep better with him out rather then in, and I have now come to find that that is false. Exhaustion is my middle name.
2. I didn't expect to be so interested in baby poop. It's amazing how much worry his poop has caused!
3. I didn't expect to not be able to breastfeed, but that is how it turned out despite my giving it a valiant effort! :/
4. I didn't expect my boy to grow so fast
5. I didn't expect to take as many pictures as I have, okay not true. Let's face it, I have a real problem with the amount of pictures I take and share. I truly am a pathological picture taker and Im obsessed with my son... I need some intervention. New Year's resolution maybe??
6. I didn't expect to feel so frustrated about my post pregnancy weight gain. I don't think I will have another baby around the holidays if I can help it because that just adds to the weight problems!
7. How much time someone so little can consume. Our days just seem to fly by, almost too fast!
8. The indescribable love I feel for my Benson and the added love I feel for my amazing husband.
Brittany- I just loved this post. You are such a cute writer! I am about to give birth any day now and I love reading/hearing the perspectives of other new mommies. I had no doubt you would be such a great mother :) And I would be obsessed with Benson if he were mine too--he's adorable.
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