a baby story

Many of you already know but for those of you who don't, David and I are expecting our first baby this coming October!! I figured it would probably be a good thing to write down all things leading up to where we are today (a little over 12 weeks pregnant!), especially since I am coming to an end of my first trimester. I dont ever use a journal so this is the next best thing! 

Well this baby story actually starts back last April. David and I had been going back and forth on when to start our family. We wanted to be prepared and responsible about it but we also knew that waiting till we felt prepared and responsible was probably going to take for ever. (school, finances etc) So we carefully thought it out and decided we would start trying! I was probably a little more hesitant/nervous to have a baby then David was. I was so caught up in the overwhelming responsibility at the thought of raising a child that I was actually slightly relieved for the first two or so months that it didnt happen. Then around September it hit me. I had a complete 180. I think Heavenly Father softened my heart and my fears because I began to feel so in love and excited about this baby that we didnt even have yet. But with that, came a roller coaster of emotions. September came, nothing- I felt worried that maybe something was wrong with me. October came, nothing- I felt confused as to why this was taking so long, especially since I felt so ready, finally! November came, nothing- I felt bitter. I was tired of getting my hopes up and it all amounting to nothing. I felt like I was becoming a hypochondriac thinking I was pregnant each month and thinking that I would feel 'symptoms' that weren't ever real. I was pretty upset. December came, nothing- I felt extreme sadness. I balled my eyes out. It was like the flood gates were open and there was no closing it. I was wearing all my emotion on my sleeves. I remember this month more then the others. This was the first time my family and my best friend got a glimpse in on how I was being effected. I think before then I was pretty good about keeping my feelings under wraps! January came, nothing!- David and I decided that at this point it was probably best to see a doctor, if anything for my piece of mind! So the end of January I had an apt with the doctor and she suggested that we do some blood work. So we made the next apt to come back to get my blood drawn. I had to have my blood drawn in conjecture with my cycle to see if my body was producing the right amount of hormones. So this was about the middle of Feb. I was super anxious for this apt because of the date I knew that if i was pregnant it would show up in the blood tests. I had my blood drawn and then waited for them to call me on the results. I got that phone call and nothing. They prescribed me chlomid and said that this could help and to try again next month. I felt okay. I really did. I had spent some much needed time in the temple a couple days prior to where I really did have a peace about me. I had come to the reassuring knowledge that it will all happen when it's supposed to and that Heavenly Father knew me and loved me and that we would have a family. Everything works out all on the Lord's timing. A very important thing I needed to learn and still need constant reminder of. So I was okay. I still had my feelings but along with them was peace and that we would just try again next month. We then went on our trip to Hawaii, hung out with the most awesome peeps, had a blast and then realized the day we got home that my period never came! David insisted that I take a test but I brushed it off and said maybe in the morning. My periods had been coming super late for like the last four months so I wasn't thinking anything about it. (Sorry if that was TMI!) Anyways as David and I laid in bed that night I cried about how badly I didnt want to be home (school, work responsibility etc.) and how I wished we could still be in Hawaii. My sweet husband laughed comforted me till I came to my senses and I knew that I would be taking a pregnancy test first thing in the morning! (I dont cry very often, promise!) And sure enough there were two perfect little pink lines, a sight I had been waiting to see for what seemed like ages!! It took a few days for it to really sink in and it's still very surreal but we are soooooo excited!! I went from feeling overwhelmingly nervous to feeling overwhelmingly blessed!! I learned and grew so much since we started this adventure 9 months ago and its just another testimony to me that my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ have a hand in everything we do and that they know exactly what we need and how to learn it to make us a better person. I have a better understanding of the Lord's purpose and his timing in all things and I am so grateful for the experiences that have helped me to learn that. 

Since I have been pregnant I have only thrown up once, PHEW! I feel exhausted and bloated most of the time and I have a pretty equal mix of good days and bad days. Some days I feel like I have the flu and other days I feel like my normal self! The only thing that has stayed consistent is my food aversions! There is a lot of food that can really send me into a bad day! lol. And I just feel like food, something I used to LOVE, has kinda lost it's luster. It has definitely been a chore to eat and probably the thing I look forward to the least each day. But with all that being said I feel so immensely grateful because I know that it could always be worse! I have a couple friends, bless their hearts, that get so so sick when they are pregnant. To where they are  in and out of the hospital nearly on their death beds. So like I said, I try not to complain to much! 

David and I feel like we are having a boy and have felt that way for some reason from the very beginning! Every time we refer to the baby it's a boy but of course all we care most about is that it's healthy! 

Everything has been smooth sailing! I am exactly 12 weeks and 2 days along and this coming Sunday I will be 13 weeks and into my second trimester!!  YAY!  

These are the ultrasound pictures from my first apt at 9 weeks! 

Is it just me or are these pictures SO CUTE!? I can hardly stand it, I love this baby so much already!!!
Due October 28th 2012

And of course the baby bump pictures!! Im not really showing yet but probably soon! I've got wide birthing hips and lots of room for baby to grow before I start showing! 

We were at my parent house on Sunday for my Birthday and didn't have my handy white board with me, this is at 12 weeks! 

Funny things about being pregnant thus far:

1. I get all misty eyed when I hear touching stories, commercials, or songs

2. I love PB&J sandwiches, smoothies and cereal 

3. I could probably sleep all day if left alone, today I slept in till 12:30!! Eek! I seriously kid you not, disgusting right?! I don't think I ever slept in the late even as a teenager. 

4. My skin itches a lot, especially the back of my legs, so annoying!! 

5. Getting ready each day wears me out the most for some reason. I have to take breaks in between everything- My shower, putting lotion on, getting dressed, my hair, my make-up, etc, it takes me forever to get ready when it used to only take 40 mins! Therefore sadly, I dont get ready much! 
6. I gag almost every time I brush my teeth. lol!

And last but not least I leave you with a song! It's a song that I am sure you all have heard. 

The week we found out I was pregnant I heard this song on the radio and I felt like it was so perfect in describing everything I was feeling. Needless to say I cried and since then have dubbed this our song for the little babe we have growing inside. I had heard it a million times before then but now I hear it in such a different way. Love it!!